"War Zone"
In my mind it’s a war zone I’m a single person caught in a maelstrom of whistling bullets and exploding grenades Debris and shrapnel are tearing me apart shredding me to bits In my mind I’m screaming and no one can hear me above the boom of the world self-destructing I am trapped here in a loop every day Some days the bullets change to arrows and the death is all that much slower The tips sink into my flesh, protruding from my spine my ribs my skull I am full of wounds and I am falling I keep waiting for the day that the war stops when someone waves a white flag or calls a truce or wins but I think this war is waiting for me to die I never stood a chance I should’ve grabbed a gun and ended it myself wrapped a pair of dog tags around my neck and said, “Don’t worry, boys, they’re not mine” I hold my breath sometimes anyway like if I do they won’t see me the bullets will miss my body But the agony rips through me anyway Every day Every day every past trauma rears up and tries to kill me My will to live my ability to stand and face the day is tested and I want to quit I want to fail I want to let go The holding on is so painful The holding on is just killing me slower